Capitol Physician Medically Clears Mitch McConnell After Second Freezing Episode

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A Capitol physician has reportedly cleared Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell to continue his schedule after he experienced an episode where he was unable to speak or move for the second time in as many months in public. What do you think?

“He’s probably doing it for attention.”

Kimberly Gara, Literacy Critic

“This happens every time he receives new instructions from Satan.”

Emil Flocchini, Unemployed


“What American hasn’t frozen in horror when trying to think about our government?”

Lars Higdon, Bounty Hunter